headcanons my beloved
i’ve literally been here the whole time
I’m a man now
🔲 relax shoulders/unhinge jaw
🔲 stretch in any way that feels comfortable
🔲 go find+drink some water or any refreshing drink
🔲 deep breath
🔲 resume your silly activity of choice
U-unhinge jaw?
I meant to write unclench your jaw but yeah. pop it open like a cold one. live a little
T4T love is holy whether its sexual or romantic or platonic or monogamous or polyamorous or gay or lesbian or straight or any combination of any of those things or even something more deeply personal and undefineable
big muscles are only sexy to me if theyre softened by a nice healthy layer of subcutaneous fat. i will never understand the appeal of super toned ripped washboard abs or biceps
amen
when the door’s closed it says FIFTH-DEGREE KEBAB FAMINE, it’s the name of their band
“oh I’m too old for stuffed animals” skill issue. sorry you can’t appreciate little creatures made to hang out with you, I on the other hand am full of joyous whimsy and therefore vastly superior.
i cannot stress enough that i do not care if you think jennifers body had bad writing. megan fox and amanda seyfried made out AND cobra starship was on the soundtrack. is that not enough? are you not satisfied? die.











